


Textbook narcissism? Agreed.

by buckybartnes



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Avengers go to Alien Planet, Banter, Brief and non-intentional consumption of alien mushrooms?, Canon Divergence - Avengers (2012), Fluff, Getting Together, M/M, Minor Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Non-Linear Narrative, Not Beta Read, Post-Avengers (2012), Protective Steve Rogers, Slow Burn, Swearing, Team as Family, Tony-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-11
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-17 13:54:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29351517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/buckybartnes/pseuds/buckybartnes
Summary: Being in a superhero-band-that-saves-the-world thingy wasn't in Tony's bucket list.Honestly, it was Pepper's fault.All of it.
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Comments: 2
Kudos: 38





	Textbook narcissism? Agreed.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This was born by me watching YouTube and learning about a 2005 meme. It took me nearly six months to complete it because my attention span don't exist. 
> 
> The Chitauri Invasion happened in 2010. (Tony was dying of palladium poisoning while Steve was being defrosted.) The events start rolling from there!
> 
> –
> 
> *Leeroy Jenkins: Word used to describe a person or thing that causes everything to go wrong for everyone else, usually in some extraordinary fashion.

"You just pulled a fucking Leeroy Jenkins!" Steve shouted angrily while snapping off his helmet.

"Stop hanging out with Clint!" Tony protested. "I don't want to hear those words coming from your mouth ever again."

Steve only gave him a look, the one that said: 'I'm the leader of the team and I need you to take things seriously and cooperate with me or _else_ '. Luckily, Tony wasn't afraid of him. Dear old Dad made him immune to those kinds of looks.

"Boys," Natasha came out of nowhere, like always, covered in dirt and trying not to show that her right leg was injured. "Fury wants us at the Triskelion, _now_."

And, OK, maybe Tony wasn't immune to Fury's shouting.

⟨ ⟩

Being in a superhero-band-that-saves-the-world thingy wasn't in Tony's bucket list. Honestly, it was Pepper's fault.

All of it.

“It's going to be great,” she'd assured months ago, right after knowing about his meeting with Fury and Natasha.

In the meeting, they showed Tony his SHIELD file and pointed out his ‘textbook narcissism’ but also his ‘wishes to make the world a better place’, offering him a job as a consultant for the Avengers Initiative.

A lame name, in his opinion.

Tony had cocked his eyebrow and had sighed, exasperated.

"Pep–"

"Don't _Pep_ me. You know you want it, _I_ know you want it," Pepper had insisted softly, looking beautiful in the dim lights of the Tower, even with the emotional and collateral disaster surrounding her. "I mean, leaving aside the narcissistic stuff and the other harmful things they’d said about only wanting Iron Man — which we both know is garbage. They need you too. SHIELD can't have Iron Man without Tony Stark, anyway," she'd smiled sweetly at him.

Tony had smiled back, thinking about how it wasn't fair for her to deal with all of his shit.

First, him being kidnapped by the Ten Rings and coming back home with his new arc-reactory chest – also Obie's attempt to kill him –, then his reckless behavior because, _oh surprise_ , he was dying of poisoning by the only thing keeping him alive!

And he couldn't find a way to solve it so he jumped down the path of: ‘I'm gonna die so I better make my life a fucking work of art’, by impulsively participating in a professional car race – which he wasn't prepared for, despite his IQ – and nearly dying at the hands of Vanko, another supervillain.

See, Vanko was the Russian son of one of his father's colleagues, whom, well, helped in the creation of the arc reactor. Still, the guy was selling Howard’s research to the _black market_. After learning that, and realizing he was _really_ going to die, Tony threw a massive party that resulted in his epic fall down.

The morning after, he decided to don’t give a shit and ate donuts on a giant donut, which led to the solving of the poisoning thanks to his fairy godmother Fury – who was always in his shadows, goddammit – and Dad's prototype... But then, Justin Hammer had to appear and form an alliance with Vanko, hacking War Machine's system and causing a fucking shit show with his drones at the Stark Expo.

Situation which, of course, was handled by him and Rhodey. (He doesn't even want to get started with Rhodey. Brave, good, _wholesome,_ Rhodey. The only man in the whole planet who loves Tony dearly, without exception.)

So, that happened.

In the end, they won, and Tony saved Pepper in the process (even if she rarely needed saving, this was one of the few occasions), then they kissed. Not Rhodey and him because Rhodey was a fucking coward, but Pepper and him. In front of a very-awkward and tired-of-Tony's-bullshit Rhodey.

But, the thing is, there really _wasn't_ a thing between Pepper and him. The kiss was just the result of their euphoria and near-death-experience. Tony and Pepper were on the same page: best friends, boundaries and cute nicknames.

It doesn't mean it didn't hurt, even when Tony knew Pepper was too much for him. She was the epitome of perfection and the first line of help of Tony – with Rhodey constantly working and Happy busy trying to physically secure him.

Pepper was a goddess, the goddess of punctuality, responsibility, and organization because even with the whole company in her back, she’d always found time for him and, especially, for her. A born leader, unlike Tony, who constantly relied on his constructed charisma and charm to persuade people, and who failed to balance his work and personal life.

That's why, as a born leader, she managed to get Tony into all the Avengers Whatever bullshit.

"You will be part of something beautiful, Tony," Pepper had explained, looking directly at his face with those sincere green eyes. "You'll have the chance to save people, all around the _world_ , and finally use that genius brain of yours to make something better."

And, probably, she saw the hurt in his face – wasn't he making something better already? With the Clean Energy Initiative? With his armor?

She instantly corrected herself.

"Don't get me wrong. You are creating so much right know — this tower, your armor, the Maria Foundation, the Clean Energy Project — but, also, you are being better _right now_ , trying to find reasons to be in the Avengers for the greater good instead of looking for selfish outcomes."

Yeah, Pep convinced Tony.

⟨ ⟩

Now, he was in this supermassive building of this super-secret organization (of super boring agents) waiting for the scolding of the year. They were seated in the meeting room waiting for Fury. Beside Steve was a very angry looking Maria Hill, who, surprisingly, had civvies instead of her Catwoman suit.

Steve was still frowning at him; Tony was really bored of his face. Thor, oh larger-than-life and always-smiling Thor, was also very-mad and Tony was afraid of him, as a matter of fact.

Apparently, Clint turned off his earbuds because not even Tasha was talking with him and he always had something funny to say – he wasn't even using sign language. Instead, he was quiet, looking nervously from Steve to Thor, to Tony to the door, maybe already thinking about Fury's angry face. Bruce was the same, the only difference being that his anxiousness was multiplied by a hundred – he was moving his body, and then his feet, and then his hands, completely non-stop.

Steve, unlike Bruce, was frozen in his place (hah!), Natasha too. They were too zen for shit like this. Too trained, too perfect. Being in a team with those two put your virtues in perspective.

Tony's stomach hurt. He’d received a very powerful punch there thanks to the Powerpuff Girls – the meanies they were fighting.

He was also very hungry.

The call to assemble had sounded very early in the morning – obnoxious and loud, thanks to JARVIS. Now, it was afternoon, and all he’d had for breakfast was a sip of coffee and some granola bar Bruce had slipped to him once they were on the quinjet.

 _Ah, Banner._ Tony loves him. Bruce is very kind, conscious of everything around him, super clever (not to say a _genius_ ) and has the capability of turning into a raging green monster.

What a man.

They instantly clicked. All it took was a conversation about gamma radiation and Tony immediately fell in love. Not in a romantic way, but in a soulmates-for-knowledge way. Tony liked talking about scientific stuff, Bruce too. He was also very patient, laughing at Tony's antics and backing him up when needed.

Now, though, he wasn't.

Tony knew he fucked up – _everyone_ knew. But Meanie 1 – the two meters tall girl with _horns_ – had tried to kill Steve. Obviously Tony shot. It wasn't even the most lethal repulsor charge; he hadn't wanted to kill her, Tony just wanted to stop her.

And he isn't to blame! She was, in fact, trying to _kill_ his teammate! While being diplomatic! He has to ask Thor what 'diplomatic' meant in Meanie 1's world.

Fuck diplomacy. They weren't the fucking UN.

But yeah, he ruined the mission, whatever.

_Cry me a fucking river._

Just as he thought of saying that, Fury entered the room with long and heavy steps. _If we were cartoons, smoke would come out of Fury's ears_ , he thought with amusement.

Yup. Tony was fucked.

⟨ ⟩

Tony had really hoped that the Avengers Initiative would stay like that – just an initiative. The worst he was expecting was to be called to stop muggers from robbing a Wells Fargo or maybe to help in a fire.

An alien invasion? In plain May? Shit. SHIELD didn't pay him that much. (In fact, he isn't getting paid.)

But, yeah, there were some fucking _aliens_ in Manhattan and a big ass portal in the sky – Tony refused to try to explain everything to himself. He didn't think. He didn't theorize. He was fucking terrified.

Also, he was lowkey expecting the aliens to be bald, black-eyed, skinny green creatures; not for them to be fucking grotesque, riding weird flying motorcycles (seriously, what is his life?) and having gigantic electronic-esque whales.

Why were aliens invading New York, though? You may ask. Well, the not-so-mystical God of Thunder and his dear (adopted) brother were having a fight because of daddy (and _yes_ , Odin and Frigga are real too), a fight that casually took them all the way from Asgard to Earth. Tony knew the feeling, though, and was a little able to understand where Loki was coming from thanks to Thor’s report.

Still, the guy was absolutely insane; Tony would’ve never invaded someone’s planet just because Howard was a dick.

And let's not even get started on the fucking cosmic cube.

(Really, this was all Pepper's fault.)

Like _that_ wasn't enough – before all of the more traumatic alien stuff –, Fury had introduced him to the one and only _Captain America_. Tony didn't faint because of pure pride (and now understood why Agent Coulson was radiating happiness when he recruited Tony back in the tower).

Tony knew about the Capsicle Mission – Stark Industries was the one financing it, after all –, yet the last thing he knew was that they'd found a body. They didn't tell him (and he didn't ask, OK, he was busy dying of poisoning and saving his ass) if Cap was alive or not.

Apparently, he was _very_ alive.

Young and super attractive, obviously, being the USA's golden boy.

Before making a fool of himself, Tony had smiled, offering his hand and trying not to say a joke about being trapped in the ice for seventy years.

"Cap! Don't be so cold and give me a smile."

Well, so much for nothing.

 _Cap_ clearly wasn't pleased. However, he gave Tony a tiny smile and shook his hand, his brown jacket stretching around his bicep.

Tony thought: _It's going to rip._

Then: _Please, rip._

It didn't, though. Not every day is a win.

The Captain talked. "Mr. Stark," God, please, not _that_ nickname. "Steve Rogers. Fury's told me a lot about you. It's nice to finally meet you," _Steve_ said with those shining blue eyes.

Tony gave Fury a look, arching his eyebrows. "Hope he didn't tell you the bad stuff," he teased, making Fury sigh. "I didn't know about, you know, about you being—" and Tony made a difficult gesture with his hands, like catching a _very_ alive fish with a net.

" _Oh._ It's fine," Cap interrupted him, smiling tightly. "Nobody knew, I think," he eyed Fury, "just a few. I've only met Nat, really," he frowned.

 _Nat_. Interesting.

"Yeah, I can imagine," Tony fake-laughed. "She's deadass dangerous, right?"

Steve looked at him like he had no clue what he was talking about. Maybe he didn't. Did he even understand new slang? Going by his outfit, Tony wasn't so sure. But, God, he was _super duper_ cute... even with that grandpa clothes, he looked amazingly hot.

Tony really had a thing for blondes. (Except Clint, he doesn’t count.)

His moment with Captain America was interrupted by a very loud voice coming from the hallway.

"I can't believe you kept this from me!"

Fury, Cap, and Tony, immediately looked at their right, where the shouting was coming from.

"I want to meet him! _I want to meet him!_ "

Yeah, that was Clint's voice.

And there he was with his bestie: Natasha Romanova. Or Tony should still call her Natalie Rushman?

"Hey, man," Clint casually greeted Tony, then proceeded to walk very fast towards Fury, who was at least two meters away from Steve and him. “Director! I want to know and _confirm_ my clearance level in this team,” he demanded. “It seems like you were keeping some _secrets_ from me," Clint crossed his arms, eyeing Steve like this was somehow his fault.

Before Fury had the opportunity to speak, Tony did. “I don't see how this is his fault,” he said just as he thought, slightly pissed, pointing at a very surprised Steve.

What? Steve thought Tony wouldn't defend him?

Clint opened his eyes comically, and even took a step backward, immediately showing his hands as if they were accusing him of having a gun.

"Of course not!" he instantly agreed, saluting Steve. "Captain America, a pleasure to _finally_ meet you," Barton looked at Fury again, not giving Steve a chance to say hello, "I would've loved to that _two_ months ago but I didn't know."

"Me neither, and look at me, totally fine and not crying at all," Tony joked.

Clint ignored him, still looking pissed at Fury, but Tony saw Natasha's smirk and Steve's little smile.

Fury, as always, was stoic. He seemed happy, though, in his eyes. Like he was glad to see the team interacting.

Wait, _the team_.

"So, Cap's with us?" Tony tried not to sound too excited. "Or is he going to be our boring office boss like you?"

Fury made an irritated face, finally opening his mouth. "Yes, Captain Rogers did _you_ _people_ , the honor of accepting our request." Steve whole's face colored. "He's going to be your leader."

Yeah, Tony was expecting that. It wasn't like _he_ wanted to be the leader... It was fine.

"As for your situation, Agent Barton," Fury continued, "we thought it was best to keep this quiet. The fewer the better."

"Who's _we_?" Clint crossed his arms again. "Even Nat knew!"

"Natasha's perfectly capable of keeping a secret of this magnitude."

"It was one time, Fury, one time!" Clint looked indignant. "What about Coulson, though? He knew?!" Fury didn't answer. "God, he _knew_."

Tony rolled his eyes. He looked over Natasha to see if she was having fun with all of this, but she was gone. 

"So, uh, you're Iron Man, right?" Steve quietly asked him.

Tony saw Clint still whining about not meeting Captain America – Fury's face blank – and decided that he wanted to go and see what the fuck was a cosmic cube and why SHIELD was experimenting on it.

"Yeah. You wanna go and meet him?" Tony pointed at the corridor with his thumb, offering Steve a tiny smile.

Steve nodded.

⟨ ⟩

"Can _any_ of you tell me what the fuck happened out there?"

The room remained silent after Fury's words. Tony looked around the meeting table, waiting for _the_ _someone_ who was going to blame it all on him.

 _Steve_. Of course.

Rogers looked at him – all confidence, patience, and straight shoulders, like he was giving Tony a chance to redeem himself and confess.

_Fuck him._

A minute or two passed.

Then, Steve made a face, sighed and began talking. "We arrived in less than 10 minutes, the park had already been evacuated thanks to Nat and Clint who were there first with the STRIKE team—"

"Get to the point," Maria interrupted.

Steve nodded and somehow made himself taller. Tony sometimes forgot he was a soldier of WW2.

"Everything was fine. The first thing we did was organize,” Steve explained, bright blue eyes. “I told the team to not engage in a fight and to approach with caution. We decided to chat peacefully with the Vanir," the _meanies_ , Tony corrected Steve in his mind. "We told them where they were and who we are, as you ordered. Their leader was a little too far from us while we chatted, so we aren't sure if she was hearing us," Steve kept eye contact with Fury. "Thor was giving them a welcome, telling them about how the planet sought peace and offering shelter here—"

"Then Shellhead fucked up," Clint interjected, rolling his eyes.

Tony couldn't believe his teammates.

"The girl tried to kill Steve!"

Everyone at the table focused their attention on Tony, while Fury seemed madder than before.

"Context!" Fury spat.

"I was receiving them," Thor's booming voice startled Tony. "Giving my regards in the name of Midgard and Asgard. They’re very sophisticated and dangerous creatures. The Vanir demand respect and honor and we were giving them that," Thor sighed, "until one of them initiated a friendly battle with Steven."

_Friendly?_

Tony furrowed his eyebrows. "What?"

Thor looked at him. He seemed tired of Tony's antics which was weird because Thor was always the first one to follow his lead whenever he did some crazy change of plans.

"Yes, Anthony. A friendly battle. It is a tradition of theirs to battle with their equals if they ever found ones." Thor explained lazily, as if he was repeating himself.

"And they did?" Fury asked, surprised, finally sitting down on his big chair. Maria was speechless beside him.

Tony gaped. He didn't know what to say. "That wasn't friendly." But that didn't mean he wouldn't get to say his point. "She was going to stab Steve in the chest!"

"Thor told us, though," Bruce stated nervously, removing a strand of hair from his face. "In the quinjet, before we arrived. He said they’d probably try to battle for tradition but that it wouldn't be serious."

"Yeah," Tasha finally spoke, "even Clint and me heard through the comms."

"I think _you_ guys didn't hear I said the word _stab._ "

"That's the problem, Tony," Steve grumbled with faux patience. "She wasn't aiming for that. It was just a movement."

"Like a _ballet,_ " Clint added, unhelpfully.

Steve nodded anyway, his jaw clenched. "Thor did his job. He shared his knowledge with us. I think _you_ didn't hear it and were distracted thinking about God's know what."

Tony stayed silent. He did fuck up.

"That happened, Director," Steve's voice was filled with disappointment. _Great_. "Tony shot the leader and everything was a mess after that. They thought we were liars and that our conversation was a distraction so we could attack."

"We had no choice but to defend ourselves," Natasha declared.

Then they all were looking at Tony. Fury was furious (hah!) and somehow pleased to know that their fighting skills were at the level of some alien people. Steve was still looking at him like _that_ – like Tony was a hopeless child who had no clue what he was doing, thus disappointing everyone around him.

Bruce was the only one not looking his way – that was worse, somehow.

"'M sorry, OK?" Tony gave up. "I fucked up. I didn't listen to Thor," he grimaced, "Sorry buddy," Thor nodded. "But still, you guys should've told me – if you saw that I didn't pay attention, why didn't you tell me? Like seconds before the meanie was running towards Steve?"

Steve let out a laugh – not a nice one. He arched his eyebrows. " _Tony_ , I swear to God."

Tony looked at the others. "What? We're supposed to be a team!"

Bruce finally looked his way telling him to ' _please, cut it_ ' with gestures.

"Yes, Tony. We are a team and a team functions because each member is responsible for his actions. We're not going to be behind you all the time, checking if you're paying attention or not. That's your decision," Steve said with finality.

"I get it! But why wouldn't you tell me before—"

"Because this has happened _before_! You should learn!" Steve was commonly known for his composure, a virtue he seemed to lose whenever something was about Tony. "But no, here we are," he sighed. "And the worst is you always pass the buck to others, Tony, _always_."

Something inside him broke. Steve really thinks that? He really thinks Tony doesn't take accountability for his actions? After all this time of knowing each other? After all the shared tears and endless hours, talking about blame and how badly Tony wanted to make things right?

God, he _can't even_ have the respect of Captain America – of _Steve_. How fucked up was he?

Tony wanted to apologize again, to promise that he was going to be better – more careful and attentive with the important information –, but what's the point? What was done was done.

"See? That's why I hated you when I was a child," Tony huffed instead, looking at the table, and then at Steve, angry, not hurt.

Clint snorted. "Please, you _adored_ Captain—"

"Teenager, then," Tony interrupted him.

Natasha prodded Clint with the elbow.

Steve ignored Clint and frowned. "I'm not saying anything wrong," he objected, stubborn.

"You are!" Tony stood up abruptly, becoming dizzy for a second – sometimes he forgot he had the armor on. "You're being all perfect and pretending I am some fucking _child_ —"

"I'm not even saying that! I'm not perfect. I don't know why you can't take—"

"Then stop acting like it!" Yeah, they were fighting now. "Stop acting like you are perfect because you do, y’know? You hold yourself and others to this high standard that I honestly don't get and _don't want_ to get because is fucking ridiculous. Yeah, I fucked up, now what? What's the solution?" Tony nearly whispered.

He could feel his face getting red. He was embarrassed for his mistake – it'd been stupid, he knew, just because he didn't listen to some ancient story Thor had told, they now had a diplomatic problem with some alien planet, not even fucking Russia.

Steve said nothing.

The others looked done with their drama, especially Fury and Maria.

"We need to offer the Vanir our apologies," Thor carefully aided, always being the brave one, after another tense silence. "I can contact Heimdall and request his assistance."

"That way you guys can find them," Maria agreed when nobody else talked. "We need to do this fast before they think we did everything on purpose."

"And before they invade us," Bruce murmured tiredly, making Tasha smirk.

Tony just nodded. "Let me know when you find them.”

Tony gave one last look to Steve – who was already gazing his way, eyes indecipherable – and turned around, getting out of the room.

He needed a drink.

⟨ ⟩

"Wow... You created this?"

Tony had taken a deep breath after Steve's amazement. For a moment he thought he died – Captain America was impressed with Iron Man! His suit. His invention.

_Take that, Dad._

Tony smiled, his ego increasing to 200 percent. "I did. Pretty cool, right?"

"Cool? This is insane. It's the most futuristic thing I've seen! – Helicarrier aside."

"I accept the Helicarrier thing because I helped in his creation."

Steve cocked his eyebrow, smiling.

"Of course you did," he'd said. "I gave 10 bucks to Fury for that but, _oh my_ , this is incredible," Steve murmured, his fingers caressing the chest plate.

For a moment Tony was speechless. The only ones who had reacted like that – amazement so palpable – had been Pepper, Rhodey, and Happy.

Before doing something ridiculous (like getting down on his knees to give Steve his thanks for being so nice), Tony fished for conversation.

"So, the Helicarrier's worth 10 bucks?”

Steve laughed. “Yeah, I think this one’s worth 20,” he joked, his hand still over the suit, making Tony smile.

“You met Nat first," Tony commented, resting his back on a table and searching for the little packet of blueberries he always carried in his jeans.

Steve nodded, his hand letting go of Iron Man. "Yeah, she was assigned to show me this _fantastic_ _new world,_ ” he quipped. “Nat’s pretty scary at first... or maybe it’s just me. I'm a mess with dames," he shamefully admitted.

 _Dames_. Hah. Tony laughed and opened the packet.

"Blueberry?"

Steve eyed them dubiously. "No, thanks."

Tony shrugged his shoulders. "Tasha _is_ scary, by the way. I met her as Natalie Rushman."

Steve frowned, looking extra cute. "Is that her real name?"

"The opposite. It was her fake. She was spying on me." Steve gave him a confused look. "Long story short: I was dying, making pretty questionable decisions, and SHIELD wanted to see if I was viable for the Avengers."

"Wow."

"Yeah."

"Are you... still dying?"

"Nah," Tony half raised his hand and then dropped it. "I solved it. I'm a genius, y’know," he gave Steve his best paparazzi grin.

Steve smiled again, a tiny little one. "Yeah, I know. Fury gave me an entire class about you."

"You know everything about me then," Tony said, arching his eyebrows.

Steve let out a laugh. "I doubt it."

They stayed silent after that. Steve went back to admiring Iron Man – he seemed to be memorizing the curves and lines of the alloy, or Tony could be imagining it.

 _Hmm_.

"We used to do that too," Steve said after a beat, "— the spying — back in the war. I wasn't very good at it. They'd always make fun of me," he laughed with melancholy.

Tony smiled with sadness at him. He supposed that by 'they' Steve meant the Howling Commandos, Sergeant Barnes, Former Director Peggy Carter, and probably his dad, Howard.

God, Tony couldn't imagine waking up one day for his whole world to be gone – he'd probably go crazy without Rhodey and Pepper. He didn't understand how Steve was here, in his twenties when he should be ninety-something, smiling at the nearly _forty-year-old_ _son_ of his deceased friend and making small talk in a future where he didn't originally belong.

On the outside, Steve seemed calm, though – pacific, even –, with that old-fashioned clothes and hairstyle he looked like a wax figurine standing in a museum – unperturbed and alone – with no one to talk to.

It was odd to see him pretend like this – like waking up 70 years in the future was a normal thing to do –, as if it was expected of him to be easy-going and low-maintenance with everything.

Tony needed to talk with Fury. Was Steve receiving therapy? Is SHIELD helping him properly? Tony had so many questions he couldn't ask; he had met him less than an hour ago, for fuck's sake.

"Spying isn't my thing either," Tony responded before making the silence awkward. "We the pros need no hiding," he joked.

Steve chuckled. "Yeah, just to get the job done and that's it!"

Tony smiled at him, nodding, relaxed like he never thought would be possible with Captain America by his side, and left the blueberries on the table, focusing his eyes on the screen in front of him. He remembered why he was there: the cosmic cube and SHIELD. Steve seemed to be still analysing Iron Man.

"He never stopped looking for you," Tony commented absent-mindedly. “My dad.”

He felt Steve's gaze on his neck. The room was suddenly more quiet and tiny, which was totally psychological because the Helicarrier's workshops were massive.

Cap didn't respond.

Tony sighed.

"When I was a kid he always showed me your movies, comics, or even some old newspaper with an article about you," he said while scrolling through SHIELD’s data, giving JARVIS the order to hack all confidential records. "Now and then he'd tell me war stories – what it was like to see you fight, to see you become what you are now, to be your friend – the usual bragging."

Tony remembered those days very clearly: Dad on the couch with a bottle of wine – sometimes with a pipe too –, his glassy eyes with a gaze that seemed so far away, talking and babbling and slurring about Steve Rogers, his dear friend, _who was alive somewhere_ , he swore, _he must be, the world needs 'im_ and _'M never 'onna stop lookin' for 'im._

Those were the kind of moments a normal kid wouldn't remember about his dad, but Tony was a genius, even being a tiny seven-year-old kid, he always paid attention to everything – it wasn't a surprise he'd remembered.

And, yeah, obviously he'd become fond of Steve Rogers too – who wouldn't when it was the only thing your dad would talk you about? When it was the only thing they could have in common?

"I... don't know what to say," Steve finally spoke, looking at Tony straight in the eyes, like he finally understood where the conversation was going.

Oh. He was serious about Fury teaching him a _This Is Tony’s Life_ seminar.

Tony hadn't even realized he was looking at Steve's face.

"It's fine. I didn't hate you until I was like... what? Fourteen? You know, teenagers and their inferiority complex,” Tony rambled. “Howard wasn't helping very much with the constant comparisons, though.”

Suddenly, Steve was by his side. His eyes were beautifully blue and his face was shining – Tony didn't know if he was jealous or in love.

"I— I'm sorry... if I made you feel like that," Steve stammered.

"It's in the past now," Tony lied without a doubt. "I grew up, saw how silly it was to hold a grudge against a dead man," he blurted.

Steve said nothing again. For a moment Tony panicked, thinking he fucked up their new friendship. _A dead man, really, Tony?_ He thought to himself.

"I mean—"

"No, it's OK," Steve reassured, smiling tightly, "you're right. It wasn't fair. You— you didn't deserve to live up to some stranger. I understand how it feels, though — thinking nothing is enough."

Tony grimaced. " _Enough_ with the pity talk."

"It is not pity, I get it—"

"Its fine now, Cap—"

" _Yes._ But you got hurt because of me so let me apologize—"

"It _was_ Howard and his poorly developed parenting skills—"

"But I knew him — _before._ It's— I mean, I'm disappointed — knowing how he behaved," Steve breathed.

Tony paused for a moment – he could see from the corner of his eye SHIELD’s data transferring to JARVIS servers on the screen, _68 percent_ – Steve kept looking at him, immovable and stubborn.

And he took it as an opportunity to continue talking:

“When you knew someone like Howard,” Steve hesitated for a moment, “— someone with so many ideas he could actually make true —, it was… incredible,” he murmured, melancholic, looking at Tony’s armor for a brief moment. Steve sighed. “He was always the killer diller, y’know, like in the World Exposition of Tomorrow, I was there, went with Bucky and some dames,” Tony arched his eyebrows playfully at him, making Steve huff. “Nothing serious, but yeah, he was pretty swell — flamboyant, rich, eloquent… the total opposite of myself. At the time I never imagined I’d be one of his closest friends, not even crossed my mind.”

"But," Steve continued, "realizing he gave up years of his life for me… I— I don't even know how to feel," he muttered. "I know it isn't my place — to tell you anything — and I know we're not that close, not yet, anyway, so I can't ask you details, plus, the little I know was because a third person told me," Steve smiled deprecatingly. "I understand how it feels, though, believing — _thinking_ — nothing is enough and having the constant necessity to prove yourself... That's why I'm sorry, Tony," he finally dropped his straight posture and leaned on the table. "You shouldn't have gone through that and, honestly, I think you realized it _many_ years ago… I mean," he pointed at Iron Man, "you're a genius and no one is questioning it anymore," Steve assured, looking at Tony straight in the eyes, all honesty and tiny smiles.

⟨ ⟩

Tony flew directly to the tower.

He knew he’d only get a few hours to be alone before the others came, so he planned to seize the day with a few drinks – nothing more, nothing less.

Or maybe he should just call Rhodey for distraction. (He was trying to stop drinking, it wasn't really a problem – _yet_ , Tony could hear Pepper's words in his mind – but he didn't want to disappoint them. Also, Tasha would kick his ass if she knew, and she would, she always did).

“JARVIS, call Rhodey,” he muttered resignedly.

“Sure thing, boss.”

Talking with Rhodey never failed to lift his mood. Tony could always take advantage of their friendship to bother him, too.

“This is Colonel Rhodes, and nope, he isn’t available for a certain Tomy Stracks” Rhodey’s voice flooded through his helmet, automatically making him smile.

“ _Tomy?_ Really? I expected more creativity from a Colonel.”

Rhodey’s laughter filtered through, then a sigh. “And I expected more maturity from a genius, but we can’t always have what we want, right?”

Tony snorted, accelerating the suit a little and stopping mid-air. “Who spilled? Legolas?”

“T’was Nat.”

“ _Tasha?_ ” Tony huffed. “The traitor.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Rhodey answered, and Tony could imagine his exasperated face. “Said _even Fury_ was uncomfortable with your little fight with Steve.”

“Hah,” Tony smiled without happiness, “at least we can cross that one from my bucket list.”

“ _Tones._ ”

Tony rolled his eyes, proceeding to fly again. “I know, I know. I will apologise to him, I promise, sweetums.”

“Ain’t nobody asking you to do that,” Rhodey muttered. “Just… Try to understand him. Remember he’s being on edge since–”

“Yeah,” Tony interrupted, feeling tense all of sudden. He’d forgotten about _that_ issue _._ “I fucked up.”

“You did,” Rhodey said, causing Tony to start protesting, “ _But_ that doesn’t mean Steve was right. He shouldn’t have reacted that way.”

Tony could already see the Tower. “ _But_ he meant it. He had thought that about me since the Chitauri.”

“We say nonsense when we’re mad,” Rhodey reassured. “You both need to apologise and talk like grown adults for once or so help me God.”

“ _Welp,_ ” Tony said, landing in the suit’s platform, seeing Steve’s silhouette through the windows. “Might do that right this moment. I’ll call you later, baby bear.”

“Right. Tell him I say hi. And don’t fight, dumbass.”

He was about to reproach when Rhodey hanged up. Tony raised his arms, the machine taking apart his armor piece by piece. Steve stood stubbornly over the mini bar that Tony longed for months now, his back facing the counter and his arms crossed, a hint of tension all over his shoulders.

Tony exhaled, finally entering home.

"I guess you won't invite me for a drink."

Steve chuckled, and Tony took it as a good sign. "I'm not Thor," he answered, looking bright and whole despite the (already fading) cuts and bruises on his face. The Meanies were brutal with them.

Tony advanced a few more steps until he was in front of Steve. His heart did _that_ thing it always does whenever he's near Cap, but now he didn't even flinch.

After months of interacting with Steve, Tony's got used to the feeling.

(Not really.)

“I spoke with Rhodey,” he blurted, trying to open the conversation. “He called me a dumbass,” Tony pouted.

Steve looked at him through his blond eyelashes, radiating disbelief and fondness. He blinked twice. “We both are,” Tony raised his eyebrows at him. “OK, maybe _I_ am.”

Tony copied his posture, crossing his arms too but failing to look menacing like Steve’s big biceps. He laughed.

“I’m kidding, Cap,” Steve kept looking at him, a smile creeping in slowly on his face. “I’m sorry for, y’know, being a shitty teammate, causing war and for shouting at you. I don’t actually hate you, I think you are pretty cool and lovely despite being a senior citizen.”

Steve, still smiling, nodded and relaxed visibly. Tony knew what was coming; after all, this was part of their daily exercises to raise morality between the team – to improve their communication _and_ understanding, according to the psychologist that Pepper employed. They only needed to use sentences starting with ‘I’ instead of ‘You', looking to forgive, not to blame.

"I'm sorry too. I shouldn't– I shouldn't have lost my patience like that," Steve said earnestly. "I also want to apologise for the things I said. I was… I was mad. Don't know how many times I've said this, but I admire you, Tony, and I know you do take accountability for everything, even for things that don’t correspond to you.”

And here comes Tony’s favorite part:

“Hug?” Steve opened his arms.

_Ah, reconciliation hugs. God bless Dr. Samson!_

Tony didn’t need to say anything. He simply took another tiny step, letting Steve embrace him, like a cocoon.

And, fuck, he _felt_ at home.

“This is above my paygrade,” Steve joked.

“You don’t even get paid, Mr. I Do This for the People,” Tony retorted, his voice muffled by Steve’s big arm. “How come you always ruin precious moments?” he reproached, making Steve laugh – Tony could _feel_ the vibrations all over his body.

“I know I say this everytime,” Steve murmured over his hair, causing Tony goose bumps, “but it won’t happen again. I’m working on it.”

Tony knew he was referring to: a) His faux patience, b) his judgy ass and c) his excessive _idealism_ – and wasn’t it something? For Steve to try to change strong characteristics of his personality just for him?

“Me too, I promise,” Tony reciprocated. “But _hey_ , don’t worry,” he separated a few centimetres from Steve, so fucking close to his face, “you just need to tell me you’re proud of me and I’m all yours.”

Steve’s whole face colored. Even his _ears._

“Geez, Stark, we don’t have to be part of your kinks.”

Tony jumped off Steve’s arms, proceeding to look at his right, where a grinning Clint and an embarrassed Bruce were standing, one eating a donut and the other one sipping on his daily tea.

“ _Shut up_ , birdbrain.”

And no, Tony wasn’t blushed, it was just the sun entering through the big windows, reflecting on his skin.

⟨ ⟩

“You _hacked_ SHIELD?!”

“I thought you could read, there’s literally a _big ass_ _screen_ in front of–”

Someone cleared their throat.

“Hey, lovebirds,” Tasha interrupted, appearing like the fucking spy she was. “If you please stop, there’s someone you need to meet.”

Tony rolled his eyes at her, but then saw The Someone, and automatically felt happier.

“Dr. Bruce Banner, biochemist, nuclear physicist and gamma radiation expert, a pleasure to meet you,” Tony complimented impulsively. “I read your paper on gamma radiation, it was pretty awesome. I’m a big fan of the green guy, too.”

“ _Tony_ ,” Steve hissed.

Bruce smiled tightly, brushing one of his curls away from his face. “It’s alright, Captain Rogers. Nice to meet you, Mr. Stark.”

“Please, call me Steve.”

“Call me Tony.”

Steve and Tony said at the same time, exchanging a look, then Cap went and shook hands with Bruce.

“I see you’re having your first fight. Marriage is difficult, I heard.”

“ _Hah_ , you’re so funny, Naty,” Tony uttered, gaining a raised brow from her.

She crossed her arms.

“Why are you hacking us, by the way?”

“Why wouldn’t I? You have an _alien God_ on board, another one roaming around our planet with a brain washed Maria Hill, and a not-so-usual cube, which you were experimenting on… for?” Tony took his phone from the table, going rapidly through some archives, until he found the correct one. “Ah, yes, _massive_ _guns_.”

“What?!” Steve snarled.

After that (and one Star War’s joke – yeah, Tony did that one), Fury knew about the hacking and everything was fucking mess. Steve and Tony had an epic fight with Thor, they captured Loki and zombie-Maria-Hill infiltrated, _somehow_ , the Helicarrier. Luckily, Tasha stumbled across her and managed to break the brainwash.

That wasn’t the end, though. Loki was a God – he wasn’t some stupid Wells Fargo-robber –, so there where some plot twists that made everything more complicated – like things weren’t complicated _already_.

Because he was Tony Stark, the final and tragic scene was with him dying in fucking space because of the stupid nuke and the fucking wormhole, which was _closing_ , leaving him floating all alone, in first row seeing _endless_ stars and _alien ships_ , his suit _useless_ and _cold_ and _what the fuck_? He was in space, dying, dying, _dying_ , oh God, what the fuck–

He saw black for what seemed an eternity, then–

A roar?

Tony gasped, felt his blood pumping once again, and the first thing he saw where those big, fucking blue, eyes. He couldn’t help but compare them to the stars – _yep_ , never mind, Steve’s eyes were even brighter.

His smile was fucking beautiful too.

Tony should’ve kissed him _right_ _there_ –

At the very, very end, they captured Loki, guarded the cosmic cube, ate shwarma, created some weird bond as a team, and Tony probably found the love of his life, according to JARVIS.

“What you are experimenting is a _crush_ , boss,” JARVIS said smugly, days later, right after Tony talked with him about his new friend, Captain America. “Commonly known as falling in love,” the AI rejoiced.

That night, Tony regretted his decision of adding feelings into JARVIS’ coding.

⟨ ⟩

A couple of days later, Thor came back to the Tower with a beaming smile on his face, despite the early hour.

“Good morning, my dearest friends!”

“Morning, fella,” Steve raised his brows at him from the stove, smiling easily, his hair still wet from the shower.

Steve was making some pancakes with eggs and bacon for everyone, though he always made the bacon a little too raw, no one complained. The rest of them were seated on the kitchen’s island, Bruce and Nat greeted Thor too while Clint just grumbled, his eyes focused on his phone. He was probably playing Candy Crush.

Tony didn’t answer, he was very busy drooling all over Bruce’s arm, still gripping his cup of coffee like a life-line.

“I have great news,” Thor took a seat beside Bruce, eyeing at the sleepy Tony carefully and lowering his voice. “Heimdall has found the Vanir.”

Steve hummed, flipping the bacon.

“That was fast,” Clint said, finally raising his eyes from his phone. “Where are they?”

“Vanaheim.”

“Vana _what_?” Bruce said.

"Vanaheim," Thor repeated. He stood up and started to wander through the kitchen, opening cabinet after cabinet. "A beautiful place close to Asgard where sorcerers and warriors rule."

"Ugh, don't say sorcerers. Tony's gonna wake up," Clint joked, earning a burrowed frow from Steve, who was serving the plates.

“The question is: When are we going?” Tasha asked while she ate. “This is great, Steve, thanks."

Steve smiled, taking a seat.

“I already spoke with the Director,” Thor answered in a mouthful. “We can use the Bifrost this very afternoon to get things done.”

“The Bifrost?” Bruce’s eyes gleamed. “That’s a dream come true!” And he began to shake Tony up, “Tony, Tony! Wake up!”

“Ngh,” Tony grumbled, blinking a couple of times before fully opening his eyes. His hair was a mess. “Wasup?”

Steve’s whole demeanor changed. He immediately made his heart eyes, as Tasha used to call them, and he modelled the most exotic smile he had: the grinning one with blushed cheeks.

“Tony, you hungry?” Steve extended his plate, offering his food to Tony.

Tony nodded, still sleepy, grabbing a single pancake. “Thanks, handsome.”

Clint rolled his eyes. “ _Handsome_ ,” he teased, “and I all get is fucking _birdbrain_ or _dumbass_.”

Steve laughed.

“Captain America’s a piece of shit,” Clint continued.

“As we were saying,” Natasha interjected, “for the ones that were asleep, we’re going to go to Vanaheim through a _rainbow_ portal.”

“It is hardly a rainbow, my deadly Nat,” Thor said with airs of supremacy. “Actually, your human eyes cannot begin to comprehend the amount of colors that exist within the–”

“Can we do a livestream while we travel through it?” Tony asked abruptly, earning a look of curiosity from Thor and Bruce.

“I think that if we use a camera that takes more than 3,200 megapixels–”

“ _Fellas_ ,” Steve interrupted Bruce. “We need to focus on the task at hand.”

“Yeah, sorry” Tony nodded, stretching like a cat. “When are we leaving? I need a shower.”

Steve did his heart eyes. _Again._ “We can leave at three o’clock,” he said, “Clint, can you call Fury and Maria to let them know? We need support if things go south.”

“Why me?” Clint’s fingers were muddy with syrup but that didn’t stop him from using his phone.

Steve gave him a Look.

“’Kay, ‘kay,” Clint gave up, leaving his phone aside, “just let me finish this disgustingly-raw beacon and I’m on it.”

⟨ ⟩

The first time Steve Rogers met Colonel James Rhodes, he was in Tony’s workshop, chatting peacefully with DUM-E – because _of course_ Steve would gain Iron Man’s habits of talking with robots.

Tony had gone upstairs to get them some pizza slices before Bruce and Thor ate them all, leaving Steve alone for nearly ten minutes.

Suddenly, the workshop’s door did that _swoosh_ sound as if it was opening, and Steve didn’t stop talking with DUM-E because it probably was just Tony with their dinner, and Tony was used to it – to Steve talking with his robots.

They were that close now.

It’d only been a month since the Invasion happened. Tony had invited them all to live in the Tower – the _Avengers Tower_. It had been weird, especially for Steve, adapting to new people, technology and a life of superheroes. They were doing fine, though – leaving aside Clint’s habit of abandoning his underwear in the living room and Thor’s rumbling voice singing some weird Asgardian songs at five in the morning.

They were getting used to each other's presence, and it felt nice… Having a _home_ felt nice.

That's why after a month of picking up each other’s habits – Tasha eventually started to join him in his morning runs, too –, Steve didn’t worry too much about his friendship with robots, even less if the someone who heard him talking with DUM-E was Tony Stark.

The person who entered the workshop wasn’t Tony, though.

“Hey, dummy, it seems your dad finally brought us dinner,” Steve cheered and DUM-E made those chirping sounds, indicating that it was happy.

( _How_ was a robot happy? He honestly didn’t know, but it was amazing.)

“Wrong dude.”

Steve immediately turned around, feeling his whole face turn red. He vaguely remembered that voice, but he wasn’t sure who it was, until Rhodey’s (Steve could remember Tony saying that nickname multiple times over the phone) face entered his line of vision.

Rhodey.

Tony’s best friend – Tony’s _brother_ , more like.

 _Colonel_ James Rhodes.

Impulsively, Steve stood up in the straightest posture he managed, saluting him and saying:

“Colonel.”

But Rhodes snorted.

“At ease, Captain,” he said, a big smile on his face. Steve didn’t know if it was genuine happiness or mocking. Rhodes extended his hand, “I’ve been looking forward to meetin’ you. Tony hasn’t shut up about his new friend Steve Rogers for _weeks_.”

Steve, still blushing, shook his hand. “I could say the same about you, Colonel.”

Rhodes crossed his arms over his chest. “Call me Rhodey,” he requested, “at least Rhodes. Jim’s fine too.”

Steve hummed, suddenly very conscious of himself.

“I see you like talking with DUM-E here.”

“ _God almighty_ ,” Steve groaned. “I– I thought it was Tony. He doesn’t mind… The talking, I mean – he does it, too… So…”

Rhodey laughed.

“It’s alright, Cap,” he said, and then looked at DUM-E’s direction, “Dummy knows I do it, too, right, champ?”

The robot chirped and began to move in circles, then it advanced a few steps until it was close enough to Rhodey, offering its claw for some petting, which the Colonel conceded.

"How're things going in the sky?"

Yes, Steve said that.

Rhodey raised his eyebrow. "Fine, fine… you know, there's clouds, air… Blue things."

"Birds, too," Steve blurted. _Gosh, this is embarrassing_.

"Right," Rhodey chuckled. "How are you adapting so far?"

Steve, sensing genuine concern from the flyboy, shrugged.

"It was difficult the first few days… Felt lonely in SHIELD's quarters," he admitted. "But now it's been three months and I'm focusing more on the good things, like…," Steve paused. "Y'know, microwaves, robots… Wifi? Pretty swell."

Rhodey smiled and clasped a hand in his shoulder. "That's good, man. Best thing is you got Tony by your side to explain everything."

Steve opened his mouth, about to respond, feeling his cheeks turn red, again, but then the door did that _swoosh_ sound and Tony entered, one plate with four pizzas on each hand and a very happy Thor behind his toes carrying two of those disgusting sugar drinks. _Sodas_.

"The flying Colonel!" Thor immediately saluted Rhodes (they'd told him multiple times that he technically didn't need to do that) and proceeded to hug him like a big, happy, polar bear.

"Would you look at that? My three favorite men in a room together," Tony said with those brown, bright eyes, standing by Steve's side and hugging him suddenly.

Steve giggled, surprising himself, and felt his heart flutter. It's been years now since he felt this nervous (according to his new timeline), his heart beating with happiness and his ears reddening whenever Tony said something like _that_ – or whenever Tony touched him, so painfully casual, as if they'd been friends for centuries.

(Also, according to Nat, Steve was touch-starved.)

"Don't tell Brucie I said that," and Tony hugged Rhodey too. "I only brought pizza for me and _Mr. Handsome_ here, sorry sugar patch."

There was no doubt Steve was home.

He felt it right in his old-fashioned heart.

< >

"Oh my God, oh my _fucking_ –"

"Watch your mouth," Steve warned.

"But _Cap_ ," Clint doubled his knees and supported his hands on them, "I feel like throwing up my entire lungs."

Natasha rubbed Clint's back, pouting. "It wasn't that bad, did you see the combinations between the gold and the blue?" And then she smirked, looking at Thor, "Breath-taking."

"I told you, Natalia, it is like nothing you have ever seen before," Thor grinned.

"Hey, you two! Don't get too far!" Steve shouted at Tony and Bruce, who were lurking around and capturing some weird flowers in the camera they took all the way from Earth just for it to malfunction on their very-fast trip in the Bifrost.

Tony just raised his left thumb up, "We fine!" and continued to look curiously at the plants, hurrying Bruce to give him _gloves or something, I don't want to die by skin poisoning, thank you very much._

Steve rolled his eyes. "That's not what I said!" He turned to look at the others, "I'll go with them while Clint recovers."

Clint huffed. " _Recover_. I don't need to–"

"Certainly," Thor clasped a hand on Clint's back, who gasped. "We'll be here."

"Yeah, go make sure your boyfriend doesn't get lost," Nat winked at Steve.

" _Future_ boyfriend," Steve said, grinning, earning a raised brow from Nat.

Clint raised his arms, despite his dizziness. "Fucking finally!" and made Thor laugh loudly.

Steve smiled, shook his head, and sprinted towards the geniuses. Thor and Clint would be fine with Nat there.

When he was a few meters away from Tony and Bruce, Steve slowed down his sprint, taking a moment to see the environment, and isolating the sounds around him, including the voice of a very excited Bruce.

His brain was still trying to process the whole trip and the fact that he was on another planet. It was beautiful, though, with weird-looking plants of colors he hasn't seen before, tall trees with only a few green leaves and a lot of blue and red mushrooms laying around, which moved up and down, expelling air. He wondered if his suit made some kind of camouflage with them.

Steve took a deep breath, capturing the sweet smell of rainy days, and felt his shoulders relax, his heartbeat slowing down, too. Then, he opened his eyes, not sure when he closed them, just to see Tony looking curiously at his face.

"Shellhead," Steve sighed, feeling his eyelids heavier than before.

Bruce frowned at him. "Are you alright, Cap?"

Steve smiled, so… _easily_ , and laughed breathlessly. "I was just wondering if my suit camouflages with the mushrooms," he laughed, "old silly me."

"Are you high?" Tony frowned.

"High?" Steve fixed his eyes on Tony. "High in love, _perhaps–_ "

" _Wait_. What?" Bruce took a step forward, pointing at Steve's eyes – his pupils were wide. "Tony, are you seeing this?"

"I'm seeing _and_ hearing," Tony clasped his hands on Steve's arms. "Cap, what happened?"

Steve blinked. "I… don't know," he blushed. "I just. Feel safe. I– I feel like I could say anything and you won't leave. You never leave, Tony."

"OK, that's it. I'll go for the others. You guys stay here."

"What?! Bruce. What do I do?" Tony panicked.

"Just– stay here." Bruce said, "We don't know if he touched or smelled a poisonous plant. We need Thor," he explained, turning around and beginning to walk very fast towards the others.

"Shit," Tony disheveled his hair. "JARVIS!"

"Yessir?"

"Scan Steve. Look for signs of poisoning or something–"

"I have already done that, sir," JARVIS informed. "It appears that Captain Rogers is in no danger. His pituitary gland is sending off more hormones than the average. He is also reacting to a high level of dopamine and other substances operated by the limbic system."

Tony relaxed his shoulders. "Thanks, J."

"Oh, Gosh," Steve giggled. "That's why I feel so _haaappy_."

Tony couldn't help it and laughed too. He crossed his arms. "What did you touch?"

Steve frowned, pretending to be thinking, and hummed. Tony arched his eyebrows. He'd never seen Steve so calm and easy going. Even his shoulders weren't that straight. Steve's jaw was relaxed, too.

"Y'know what?" Steve said abruptly, "I didn't touch anything. I was just… taking in the environment? And those mushrooms were _mocking_ me–"

"The mushrooms were mocking you," Tony repeated.

"Yes, sweetheart! Mocking my uniform."

And Steve turned around and ran towards one of the mushrooms – which wasn't expelling air anymore.

Tony froze for a second. _Sweetheart_. He blinked and followed Steve. "Wait, big guy!"

Steve ignored him and crouched, pointing at the insignificant mushroom. "You motherfucker!"

He punched the mushroom. 

Tony, gaping, grabbed Steve's arms and pulled him upwards. Steve let him – if he hadn't, Tony wouldn't have been capable of pulling him up. "Are you crazy?! We don't fight mother nature!" Tony shrieked.

Steve stopped looking at the poor mushroom, which, thankfully, didn't suffer damage. Tony was fucking sure his money wouldn't make up for some alien plants – was money even something valuable in Vanaheim?

Cap's eyes watered. _Oh no_ , Tony thought.

"I'm so sorry, doll," he sniffed. "I don't know what came into me. I should apologise to the mushroom–"

_Steve called me 'doll'._

_Steve called me 'doll'!_ _And 'sweetheart'!_

Tony, ignoring his reddened cheeks, smiled reassuringly. "No, handsome. You don't need to–"

"But I hurt him," Steve interrupted, his blue eyes shining. "That's what I do when I hurt you. I apologise."

Tony raised his eyebrows. "Are you comparing our relationship with a mushroom?"

Steve opened his mouth but didn't get to say a word because the others arrived. Tony let out a sigh he didn't know he was holding. "Thank God!"

Steve pouted at the Avengers. "I love you guys so fucking much," he clasped his hand on Clint's shoulders, who once again gasped. "My fellas. My family."

Clint laughed like it was the best day of his life. "Cap's high! This is amazing."

"Ah, yes," Thor boomed. "The mushrooms."

"No, fella, _you're_ amazing," Steve disheveled Clint's hair, a fond smile on his face. "And yeah, fucking mushrooms," Steve murmured, making Clint laugh louder this time.

Natasha looked at Thor. "You seriously brought us to a planet with magic mushrooms?"

The rest of them looked at Thor too.

"I forgot to… warn you," Thor blushed.

"This could've happened to any of us!" Tony crossed his arms.

"Don't worry, Shellhead," Steve said, grabbing one of Tony's hands and looking at him like he was the most precious person on earth. "If this has happened to you, I would've protected you. Like I always do, sweetheart."

Tony coughed, blushing. "Er, thanks, thanks. I know you do, handsome," Tony said proudly, prodding Bruce with his elbow because he _won't stop_ laughing.

"As you can see," Thor grinned like the piece of shit he was, "Steven is in no danger. You should fear nothing, _Shellhead_ , this will wear off in a few minutes," Thor hugged Steve, who hugged him back like a big bear. "It is time to meet with the rulers of this magnificent planet. You shall follow us to the big blue castle."

Thor raised his hammer and spun it around, beginning to fly.

"Whoopee!" Steve shouted from the sky, clearly enjoying the flying and Thor's company.

_Fuck._

Tony fell in love with an idiot.

. . .

Thor should've told them a lot of things about Vanaheim and the Vanir.

Firstly, about the magic mushrooms.

Secondly, about how they despised strangers who dared to steal their plants.

And thirdly, about their abilities to predict the future just by looking at your eyes.

The funny thing is, the situations happened in the same order – we know how the first one went.

Tony, always being a man of science, convinced Bruce to rip the punched mushroom off the land to study it back on Earth or to, at least, have JARVIS scan it for a few minutes.

They didn't have a bag to hide the surprisingly big Cap Mushroom, as Clint named it, because, despite rumours of Iron Man having small nano-compartiments, Tony didn't have the space to hide it in his suit. Tasha didn't even have bags in hers and Clint's were too tiny anyway.

"Brucie, just Hulk-out," Clint pleaded for the twentieth time since they started to walk to follow Thor.

Tony could use his suit and fly to arrive faster, but Bruce didn't want to Hulk-out and Tony wasn't going to leave his friends walking alone all the way to the castle.

Conclusion: Thor was a piece of shit. (Just kidding. Tony loves him dearly.)

"Stop already," Tasha glared at Hawkeye. "Bruce doesn't want to."

"He could hide the Cap Mushroom in his big ass bags!" Clint insisted.

Bruce sighed. "My _big ass bags_ are ripped off. The mushroom would fall as I jump," he grimaced.

"Plus," Tony stuck his tongue at Clint, “I’m very comfortable carrying it. The thing’s like a feather.”

Ten minutes and two awful jokes of Clint later, they arrived at what seemed to be a city. People started to appear out of nowhere, looking at them like they didn’t have a permission to be there, which, OK, was kind of true but also rude. Tony was sure they were reading his mind.

 _Fucking magic_ , he thought.

All of them were wearing some kind of armors that looked strong and beautiful at the same time. Tony had never seen such designs and he was trying to take photographs of them with his mind.

"Those are fantastic," Tasha murmured slowly, "and here we are, stuck with our grandma gear."

"Hey!" Tony pouted. "Our suits are beautiful. Or at least mine is," he grinned at Tasha, who rolled her eyes fondly.

By the time they arrived at the castle and climbed all forty seven steps, Bruce was on the verge of hulking out and Clint ran out of jokes to tell (thank God).

"Breath, Brucie," Tony made circles in Bruce's back. "We're just going to apologise, and that's it, we're gone."

Bruce breathed in and out twice, and then again, imitating Tasha, who usually helped him with new breathing exercises every time she could. A warrior that was near gave them strange looks, but he didn't ask anything when they entered the castle, who had the double of warriors, once again their armors shining and overshadowing them.

Tony thought of putting his armor on, but he wasn't there to show off. He also didn't want them to think he was going to fight again.

The castle was ethereal. They were suddenly surrounded by gold ornaments, walls, and weird looking paintings that seemed to have been done with different types of brushes that didn't exist on Earth.

"You should be the Avengers warriors," one of the Vanir approached, his voice raspy and his eyes clouded with distrust. "Please, follow me."

"Thank you," Tasha said.

Tony let his hands fall from his chest – he was carrying the mushroom like a baby, out of sight, not with the intention of hiding it but trying to not let it fall. 

The mushroom now laid in his right hand at his side.

"Two of us have already arrived, have you seen them?" Tony carefully asked.

The knight didn't bother to look at him. "Ah, indeed. The blonde ones. They are already conversing with my comrades."

"Alright," Tony murmured.

He had a bad feeling about everything, but maybe it was just his paranoid side letting go.

They entered another room that had big fucking doors – nothing changed from gold. Tony wondered how Steve felt seeing all of this. He was probably fucking happy and amazed, asking about the paintings and the architecture of the castle.

His heart ached – Tony knew he would feel better seeing Steve. Having Cap by his side always made everything more bearable.

By the time they fully entered the room, Tony immediately saw Steve, tall and confident, chatting with one of the meanies they knew from the accidental fight. Steve's red and blue suit, and his shield, made him stand out from the other warriors and their gold walls.

Tony was enamored.

The warrior that led them cleared his throat, gaining the attention of the others. Steve smiled at him, so bright, his cheeks red and his eyes sky blue. Tony smiled at him, too, feeling ease spread through his body, like taking a shower after a very intense workout.

Just as Tony was going to walk towards him, the lady with horns, who was previously talking with Steve, shouted – at the same time, Steve's eyes traveled to Tony's hands, his smile disappearing.

Tony froze in his place.

"How dare you!" she shrieked, making every single warrior stand in a pose of combat, drawing out their swords.

Tasha and Clint immediately took their weapons out, surrounding Tony, and Steve and Thor moved away from the rest of the Vanir. Bruce took two steps back, Tony could hear him breathing in and out, trying to ease himself.

"What's wrong?" Steve demanded, acting clueless and raising his shield.

The lady with horns stood up from her big, goldy, chair, swinging her sword like a toy. "What is wrong?" she laughed dryly. "One of your soldiers is a shameless thief. And we don't condone that."

Thor furrowed his eyebrows. "My lady, you must have mistaken–" and then he saw Tony's hand, too.

 _Fantastic,_ Tony thought _, I'm going to get my head cut off because of a fucking mushroom._

"I didn't know," Tony talked, feeling his heart rate speeding up. "I'm sorry. I will leave it right here–"

"No!" the lady ordered. "You shall suffer the consequences for such a disgusting act."

The Vanir advanced more, surrounding them. Steve and Thor sprinted towards Clint and Nat, blocking the lady's way to them.

"Please understand," Steve said this time, putting the shield at his back and raising his hands at the level of his shoulders. "He didn't know. We have no intention of destroying your ecosystem. It's actually my fault," Steve confessed, "I– I smelled some of them on my way here and they caused a reaction on my– uhm, on my body. He was trying to see if it wasn't poisonous."

Steve lied.

_Steve lied to save my ass._

Because of course he knew Tony wanted to study the mushroom completely – he also knew JARVIS made a scan on him and confirmed it was clear of poison. Tony didn't have to rip it off, and yet he did, because he's an idiot.

"We apologise," Thor lowered his head. "It is also a fault of mine. I did not inform my friend that it is dishonorable to take healing plants from this beautiful planet. At our home we have different traditions. Though we know it is no excuse."

The lady finally retrieved her sword, looking carefully at their faces. Tony was fucking scared – he regretted not having the armor on.

"Sister, how many times have I told you to stop your _melodramatic_ scenes?"

Everyone looked at the door, where the voice was coming from. It was one of the meanies. She didn't have horns, just braided hair and purple eyes.

The horns-lady huffed. "This is _outrageous–_ "

" _And_ they have already apologised," the braided one said, smiling at Tony while she gave the other warriors a signal to retrieve their swords. "That is why we have such bad fame across the galaxy. Should I remind you why the Nova Corps hate us?"

The lady with horns rolled her eyes, letting herself fall in her big chair once again. "I hate you."

"You don't," purple eyes said. "Please, Avengers, make yourselves at home – with the condition of not taking our mushrooms ever again," she smiled deadly, and Tony thought she'd have a very nice friendship with Nat, who was already looking at her with a smirk and bright eyes.

"We would be honored," Thor bowed.

"Should we bow, too?" Bruce whispered in Tony's ear. Tony shrugged.

Bruce bowed.

The purple-eyed lady laughed quietly.

"I wanted to apologise for the fight," Tony blurted, earning the attention of everyone in the room. He gave them his paparazzi smile. "I honestly don't have the medal for Best Teammate Ever. When Thor let us know about your traditions, I wasn't paying attention," the Vanir raised their brows. " _My bad!_ I know, I know. That's why we're here. I'm here to say sorry," Tony breathed.

He advanced a few steps until he was in front of the Vanir with horns, pretending like it was a totally normal situation for him to interact with a person like her and restraining himself to look at the horns in awe. Tony wondered if he could add horns to Iron Man. Then, he raised his hands, offering the mushroom as if it was a peace treaty.

"I'm sorry," Tony repeated, grimacing.

"Although the Captain had already told me about your sorrowful intentions," she said, "and about your _heroics_ on Midgard, I accept your apologies," and the lady smiled brightly.

Tony released a breath he didn't know he was holding and immediately looked at his right, where Steve was looking at him with a fond smile on his face. Tony blushed and rapidly looked at the front again, making eye contact with the purple-eyed Vanir, who smirked.

_Oh no._

(Tony _knew_ that kind of smile. It was the same smirk Natasha made every time before saying something along the lines of: _'Tony, stop being so in love with Steve, it's embarrassing'_ or _'Yeah, OK, but how many kids do you guys plan to have? Three?'_ and that usually set Steve's face on fire, Tony's too.)

"God of Thunder," the braided woman addressed Thor, "did you also fail to inform your friends about our prediction abilities?"

"I don't like where this is going." Tony heard Tasha say.

Thor was instantly at Tony's side, scratching his hair like he always did when he knew he fucked up.

"I, uh– didn't, actually," Thor chuckled.

Tony looked at him with his best 'are you bullshitting me right now?' face.

"Can you guys predict our future?" Obviously, Clint Barton asked.

"Indeed," the horn-lady nodded pleasantly. "Just by looking at your eyes."

Tony laughed drily. "Amazing. But I think we can't stay much longer," he faked a sad face, "we have… duties to make, to-do lists, _bucket lists–_ "

"Tony, for once in our lives we have _nothing–_ "

"–we thank you for your hospitality," Tony interrupted Clint. " _Steve_."

Steve coughed, straightening his posture at Tony's look of help. "Yeah. Yes. We– we have to go. The job. You know how it is. Working… 9 to 5. What a way to make a living, " Steve blushed.

"Did you just quote _Dolly Parton_?" Tony murmured to him, smiling, and then he noticed that Steve was making eye contact with the braided woman, who never stopped smirking. Not once.

_Oh no._

"Oh my god," the Vanir opened her eyes, shocked.

She blushed.

An alien was _blushed_ because she saw Steve's future.

Tony didn't know if he was jealous or… maybe, _just maybe_ , lucky?

"What is it? Ma'am, what is it?" Clint insisted, nearly jumping, his eyes bright with mischief.

Steve froze ( _hah_ , not that one again!).

"Lucky midgardians," the purple-eyed woman said, grinning with emotion, "I didn't know you had soulmates."

"Soul– what?" Steve panicked, taking a step back. Tasha held him by his shoulder, grounding him.

The lady laughed. "Soulmates!" She began to revolve around them, the smile never fading from her face, until she was close enough to Tony.

_Oh my fucking–_

"Congratulations! I believe you are going to be having a beautiful baby in a year, at least," and she hugged Tony.

_What the fuck._

"You gotta be shitting me, please tell me you're–" Tony babbled.

"That must be a mistake," Thor calmly said, clasping his hand on Steve's back, who was stupefied and red as a strawberry. "Midgardian men can't conceive, I'm afraid. Unless you saw the act of making–"

"That's it!" Clint raised his hand to his ear, "I'm turning off my hearing aids!"

"This was your fault, dumbass," Tasha rolled her eyes. "I'm sorry, but we already knew something was going to happen with them," Tasha said, refusing to look at the Vanir's eyes.

"Poor Steve," Bruce said, as if _Tony_ wasn't freaking out. 

"You are his _heim_!" the purple-eyed lady rejoiced. "You two make a wonderful item. I would like you to formalize your relationship here. We can make a beautiful feast, right Wynn?"

"That's right," the lady with horns – Wynn, answered. "We celebrate love here," and she winked.

A Vanir just _winked–_

"A feast it will be!" Thor shouted excitedly and clasped his hands on Tony and Steve simultaneously. "I love you a lot, my dear friends!"

_Oh, God. Like, literal God of Thunder._

Tony was fucking embarrassed. His heartbeat was going crazy and seeing Steve's face and ears red didn't help to calm him down.

Thor continued: "You should kiss!"

 _Fucking Vanir. Fucking magic – predictions, whatever._ This was the last time Tony traveled outside of Earth.

Tasha cleared her throat. "I think they need a moment."

Tony nor Steve reacted.

"Of course!" Wynn laughed, as if she didn't hold them at sword point a few minutes ago. "Let's go. We can show you our beautiful collection of…"

Tony faded out her voice. He felt the others slowly leaving them behind – even saw Bruce looking his way twice, before closing the big, golden door.

Steve still had his blue eyes wide opened and his lips parted.

"I don't get it," Tony broke the ice, walking around and pretending to admire the art on the walls – pretending that he didn't feel like his reactor was malfunctioning. "That's not how the future works, you know? It could happen anything, at any time – fuck, we could _rewrite_ it! I mean, how does she know the way our actions are going to proceed or if we–"

Tony stopped babbling because he was suddenly pulled over, forcing himself to do a mid-spin. He was greeted by Steve's arms, his chest, and his hands. Steve was no longer with a clouded gaze, instead, his eyes shined like the ocean on plain summer – lingering and full of promises.

"I love hearing your voice, sweetheart," Steve murmured so close to Tony's face, looking for a second at his lips, "but it's your turn to listen."

Tony literally dissolved in his arms.

"You're the most beautiful fella I've ever known," Steve confessed. "So kind, selfless and smart. You save the world five times before breakfast and have a light in your chest that keeps bringing hope to the world," Steve smiled, caressing the arc reactor, making Tony gasp with happiness. "You've given me purpose; you designed my suit, you upgraded my shield, you throwed me an amazing birthday party just after a few months of knowing each other, and made me socialize with every single person that attended," Tony laughed with tears in his eyes, making Steve laugh too. "The hot dogs were terrible but I loved them because DUM-E cooked 'em. I also loved the big piñata and the playlist of my old favorite songs."

Steve paused, like he was ordering his thoughts. Then, he took a deep breath and continued:

"You helped me come to terms with Peggy's death, attending the funeral with me, giving me your shoulder to cry on and keeping yourself awake three nights straight to hear me babble about my past. You just give, and give, and _give_ , never expecting a reward, never asking for something in return. You are lovely. And I love you. I love you when you haven't showered in days because you are tinkering. I love you when you walk red carpets like you own the place – and, fuck, probably you do. I love your sleepy smile in the mornings and I love the way your hair goes all curly when you're fresh out of the shower. I love the way you speak, I love your passion about science, technology and your search for a better world. I love you. Every single hour, every single day. I love you because you gave me a home when no one else bothered to look past a legend that didn't even belong to me in the 21st century. I just love you. I swear to God, Tony, I do. You just– you make me so happy, like never before."

The moment Steve stopped talking, Tony kissed him. It was slow, clumsy and reserved. Steve's hands held tightly to Tony's hips, nearly covering all of the place – Tony was sure he was going to be covered in finger marks.

Tony brought his hands to Steve's neck, then his hair, and the kiss got more intense. They were communicating, non-verbally, but they were doing it.

"I love you so fucking much, Steve," Tony rapidly confessed after the make out session. His lips were red and his pupils were blown wide. "You have no idea how much I adore you. I love your blue eyes, and your old slang, your Brooklyn accent and your shoulders. I love that you are a walking blanket. I love that you are so fucking talented and special. You simply don't know how happy it makes me seeing you smile, and laugh and just be you. _You_. Just Steve Rogers from Brooklyn. So fucking kind, and full of love, and happiness, always brighting up the day of every single one of us," Tony smiled up at him. "I just want to be yours until my time runs out," he dreamily murmured over Steve's plush lips.

Steve, with his sky blue eyes watering and a big, dumb smile on his face, took Tony's hand and kissed softly his knuckles. "You already are, sweetheart."

< >

"JARVIS?"

"Sir?"

"Can you give me the definition of 'heim'? It's a word from Vanaheim. I don't really know its origin–"

"No need, sir. I have found it," JARVIS paused for a second. Then his voice flooded the workshop again: "According to my search, 'heim' means 'home', Boss _._ "

Tony smiled and nodded, touching his chest.

" _Home_ ," he repeated, the word resonating on his mind, feeling Steve's tags with his fingers. "Agreed."

And, for the first time in years, ease and love bloomed on his chest.

**Author's Note:**

> (Yes, I'm a big nerd and I quoted Steve on Avengers Assemble: "Taking a huge risk that ends up saving the world? Tony does that 5 times before breakfast.") 
> 
> Please, if you see any mistakes, let me know!


End file.
